


Watch Over Me

by Cakelets (Lawlietluver)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Ignatz has anxiety, M/M, Pre-Time Skip, Slow Burn, ashe is supportive, but also stressed, coping through art, maybe post time skip later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 20:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21167576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lawlietluver/pseuds/Cakelets
Summary: Ignatz has anxiety and Ashe helps him out. Ashe works too hard and Ignatz helps him out too.





	Watch Over Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I just wanted to say before the fic that it heavily relies on the fact that Ignatz's room is right next to Ashe's in the game which I think is super coincidental but defiantly on purpose. Also in this house we love and support Ignatz. Enjoy the chapter!

He had been training for this moment, he knew what happens when he releases the tension from the bow string. What happens is just like what happens to the training targets in the monastery. He hits dead center on the bandit’s unprotected chest. The man isn’t dead yet and lunges back at him, giving it his last go as he brandishes his sword. Ignatz tried to jump out of the way but the man’s eyes and the desperation within them held him still.

The sword barely grazed him before Ignatz broke from his spell and shuffled backwards, his fingers trembling slightly as he quickly loaded up a new arrow and aimed it once more in self defense. The arrow landed, not perfectly, but enough to snuff the fiery determination in the enemy’s eyes for good. His death wasn’t dramatic, time didn’t stop for his passing. He just fell down and didn’t get up. Ignatz stared down at the man not even hearing his professor’s praise. Even as the rest of the class tidied up the rest of the thieves and bandits they had been sent to disperse he couldn’t stop but look back at the body of that man, his first kill. 

He got through everything that came next pretty well all things considered. He grit his teeth through the after battle meeting in the classroom, he sat still while Manuela healed up the graze from the man’s sword, and he even thanked his fellow classmates as they congratulated him on his quick bow draw. He wasn’t one to go against the crowd. But as everything settled down and he began his walk back to his dorm the weight in his mind settled back in, gripping at his lungs. The man’s eyes never left him, and he was beginning to fear that they would never leave. Always to follow him through life to remind him of what he did. 

He knew that logically at some point he would move past this, he would have too if he were to become a knight. Everyone who steps on the battlefield knows the risk after all, it was either he live or let the man kill him. But his brain didn’t seem to want to be logical at the moment as he walked up the steps to his room, tears pricking his vision, causing everything to blur around him. 

But he couldn’t let himself cry there, no he had to make it inside, he had too. Yet the hot tears still dripped down his cheeks as he fumbled with the key to his room. He took in a shuddering breath and tried the door handle, it didn’t budge.

He took another shaky breath then tried the key again, it still didn’t work. He felt the panic begin to bubble beneath his skin as the implication set in. If his key wasn’t working then he would have to get the professor to help, and if the professor would help they would see what a mess he was and if they saw what a mess he was then they would think he was unfit to be a student and if- 

His mind was now spiraling and the grip on his lungs tightened. 

“Excuse me Can I help you with something?” 

Ignatz turned around to see someone standing behind him, it was dark in the monastery at night but the face looking back at him looked familiar his brain was just too clouded for him to focus on who it could be. 

“M-my key its not, working” He took a quick gulp of air, he was finding it so hard to breath all of a sudden and his mouth felt dry. He hoped that it was too dark for the person to see how frazzled he must look. 

“Well that is my door, so I don’t think your key will work with it, I’m sorry.”

Ignatz suddenly remembered why the person looked familiar, it was Ashe from the blue lion house. They had never spoken much but their dorms being right next to each other meant that he had seen him before in passing. He moved his head towards the left and saw that Ashe was right, in his muddled state he had walked up to the wrong door. He hadn’t realized he had been standing there too long when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He immediately jumped and took a step back. His breathing picked up and the world felt like it was spinning. What was happening to him? Maybe he was dying, the goddess was punishing him for the blood on his hands. 

“Are you okay?” 

Ashe’s pale green eyes were looking into his but he couldn’t focus, all he could do was try to breathe. 

“I- I don’t know” His voice sounded so choppy in his ears and fresh tears slipped from his eyes. 

“Okay, I think I know whats happening, Just stand there for one second okay?” 

Ignatz just nodded and did his best to stay upright, his hand gripping at the fabric on the front of his uniform. Ashe stepped around him, and Igntaz could hear the other boy putting in the correct key and opening the dorm room door. Ashe gestured for him to come in and Igntaz shakily followed behind him, allowing himself to sit down on the edge of Ashe’s bed. His fingers found solace in the soft blanket thrown over Ashe’s bed, holding onto the fabric seemed to ground him a bit as the world still tilted around him. 

“Okay okay, just um you just need to take some deep breaths.” Ashe was kneeling in front of him. 

“I- can’t.” He managed to get out. 

“You can, you just need to copy me okay? Let’s try a nice deep breath together.” 

With that Ashe took a deep breath. Ignatz tried it, the first time not taking, but after a few tries he was taking deep breaths with Ashe. With each breath the spinning slowed and the slight pain in his chest seemed to subside. He swallowed thickly and shakily went to wipe at his tear stained cheeks but instead he felt Ashe press a small cloth into his hand. 

“I knew you could do it, are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I uh I’m sorry I don’t know what came over to me.”

“Please don’t be sorry, it would have been cruel of me not to help.” 

Ignatz’s mouth still felt so dry and with every evening breath a wave of exhaustion passed him over. 

“I’m still sorry, There must be something wrong with me, an illness maybe”

“Maybe but I don’t think so.” Ignatz felt a dip in the bed as Ashe got up from his spot on the floor and went to sit beside him on the bed. “My little sister, she sometimes would get attacks like that. She was always worried about us or our future and sometimes she would get so worried or scared that she couldn’t breath. I was so scared the first time it happened but then it passed and I learned how to help her through it.” 

Ashe gave him a soft yet sad smile. 

“Were you maybe worried about something today? I know your house went on the battlefield this morning.”

“Yes we did, there were some thieves causing trouble and I got my first victory in battle today but it feels like I did something wrong. I don’t know maybe I am being strange but its been on my mind.” He kept the parts about the dead man’s eyes and his utter fear of rejection and disappointment from his professor, family and fellow classes, to himself. 

Ashe nodded solemnly and took a moment to think about his words before saying, “That can be a very hard feeling, one that I bet everyone here has considered. Sometimes it’s easier for others to view such things as victory, there is a sense of self preservation in that . . . How I like to view it is that if you hesitate, your the one that ends up dying.” 

Ignatz goes back to that moment, he knew that when he drew his bow the second time, he was saving his own life, the thief was a fighter at close range with a sword and he would have been overpowered if he hadn’t done what he did. Still his emotions towards the event felt the same. 

“I’ll be right back, I think you could use some water.” Ashe said standing up from the bed. 

“No it’s perfectly okay, I can get it myself, besides I’ve kept you up far more than I should.” Ignatz said standing up to go. 

“It okay, just take a moment to rest, it won’t take me but a minute.” Ashe said before stepping out of the room, leaving Ignatz to awkwardly sit back down onto Ashe’s bed. He ran his hands on the bedspread again, the fabric feeling so soft and inviting. After a minute passed he gave in to the tiredness in his limbs and allowed himself to half lay down, telling himself he would rest only until Ashe came back. His body had other opinions though and a few minutes later when Ashe returned with a cup of water he entered to the sight of Ignatz asleep. 

When Ignatz woke up to sunlight was filtering in through the windows and onto his face. He pushed himself up, taking a moment to get his bearings. He was still in his clothes from yesterday, he looked around and found his glasses sitting beside him. Realization hit him like a freight train as he put on his glasses and blinked a few times. He nearly jumped right off the bed, he was still in Ashe’s room. The boy in question was nowhere to be seen but the blue carpet on the floor told him that he had slept in his neighbor’s room that night. His face heated up and he scrambled to the door, trying to straighten his clothes feeling embarrassed. 

There were no students milling about the monastery, which meant that classes must be in session. He had never been late before, and panic squeezed at his chest again. With no time to change from his unkempt and slept in uniform or to fix his bed head he sprang towards the classrooms. When he finally reached the door he could hear his teacher mid lecture about proper sword techniques. He hesitated for a moment. Should he even go in? How embarrassing would it be to enter in such a state, disgraceful even. He hadn’t even thought to grab a bit of paper or quill before coming meaning he was heavily unprepared. He was about to turn away to sulk when he saw Claude coming up to the classroom. 

“Ignatz? So you decided to show up! Teach was concerned.”

“What? I mean I’m sorry I overslept.”

“I can tell, no offense or anything.” 

Ignatz made a quick effort once again to smooth out his messy hair and uniform. 

“I’m sorry if I seem disgraceful.”

“Did I say anything about disgraceful? Don’t be so hard on yourself, this kinda thing happens to everyone. Now let’s head in okay?”

Claude shoots him a reassuring grin before nonchalantly swinging open the classroom door and striding inside. Ignatz follows meekly behind him, he longed for the aura of confidence that always hung around Claude. Suddenly all the eyes of his classmates were on him, some worried, some surprised or in the case of Lysithia very much unsurprised. 

“Teach, I got those practice swords you wanted me to get, also I found Ignatz lurking outside.” He said handing over the wooden swords to his professor as they stared back, looking over at Ignatz with their big emotionless eyes. 

“Do not be late next time.” Professor Byleth said in an even tone. 

“I won’t I’m so sorry professor, I overslept and-”

But the professor cut him off with a wave of their hand. 

“It’s okay this one time, now everyone please take a practice sword.” 

All his classmates gathered around him, taking a sword. He grabbed one too and stood in position opposite his usual sparring partner Raphael. 

“Woke up late huh?” Said Rapheal as they assumed the first position and began doing the sword drills. 

“Yes, I um had a rough night last night I suppose.” 

“Everything okay?” 

“Of course, don’t worry about me.” Ignatz gave his friend a reassuring smile but Rapheal didn’t look super convinced. 

“If you say so, after class let’s grab some food yea?” 

“Yes.” 

Lunchtime in the dining hall was shaping up to be a real puzzle. He sat down with his food besides Rapheal and couldn’t help but look around to see if he could spot Ashe sitting anywhere. He was still trying to figure out if he should go thank him again, or pretend like nothing happened the other night. Would Ashe even want to talk about it? He was probably just as embarrassed as Ignatz is. His looking around seemed to grab Raphael’s attention away from his large plate of food, an amazing feat. 

“You looking for someone?” 

Ignatz quickly pulled his gaze away from their fellow students and back onto his plate. 

“Nope. I mean kind of but not really. It’s sort of complicated.” 

“Complicated? What is it a crush or something? Did you get a love note?” 

Ignatz’s face heated up and he was quick to shake his head. 

“No nothing like that!” 

Raphael laughed and slapped him on the shoulder in a friendly manner. 

“Your face is so red right now.” 

“Oh Raphael stop teasing him so much.” Leonie said, taking up the chair next to Rapheal and setting down her meal.

“I wasn’t teasing him! Look he knows I’m joking.”

“Of course I-” But Ignatz was stopped when someone lightly tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up to see Ashe standing behind him looking a bit nervous. 

“Oh Ashe! I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.” Ignatz said, frantically trying to figure out what he was going to say next. 

“Sorry for interrupting, I just was wondering if we could talk for a second.” Ashe looked as if he was also fighting against his usual shy nature. 

“Of course!” Igntaz promptly stood up, nearly tripping over himself as he left the table to follow Ashe so they could talk in relative privacy. After they stepped away Leonie and Rapheal looked on. 

“Is that Ashe from the blue lions house?” Leonie said while watching the pair walk off. 

“Yea he lives in the same dorm area as us, In fact I swore I saw Ignatz going in his room with him last night.” 

“You saw what?!” Hilda who had been secretly listening in from further down the table suddenly sprung up. 

“Oh my and Ignatz was late this morning for the first time in forever. . . “ Marianne said quietly having also been listening in. “You don’t think they . . .” 

“They what?” Hilda said, clearly already thinking about the possibilities. 

“You know, held hands.” 

After leaving the table Ignatz and Ashe went to stand near the wall, both looking around awkwardly and not being able to quite reach each other’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry again about last night.” Ignatz sputtered before Ashe could say anything. “I’m sorry for inconveniencing you like that and-”

“Oh no please don’t be sorry.” Ashe interjected. “I just wanted to see if you were feeling any better, less anxious.”

“Oh yes I am feeling much better. I’m sorry for making you worry.” 

“You say sorry a lot don’t you?” Ashe said with a little smile. “I’m happy your feeling better, if you ever want to talk again you can find me next door.” 

“Of course. Um likewise.” Ignatz was sure that he sounded ridiculous, but what do you say to someone who offers you something like that?

“Okay well, I’ll be off then.”

Ashe nodded sheepishly then walked off back to where the blue lions had been gathering for lunch. Ignatz watched him go, he had to do something to repay him but he didn’t know what he could do. He didn’t know much about the other boy other than he lived next to him and he had a soft smile. It would be a challenge, but he internally made plans to ask around and see if there was anything he could do to repay him. 

Ashe looked on at Ignatz after sitting back down at the table currently occupied by the blue lions. He watched as the green haired boy went back to his own table and turn bright red as his fellow classmates seemed to tease him about something. It brought a grin to his own face and he went back to the meal he had decided on. Annette leaned over smiling as he did. 

“So I saw you finally got the nerve to talk with that guy today.” She said in a slightly teasing voice. 

“It’s not like that, I just helped out yesterday and wanted to make sure everything is okay.” Ashe said, shyly not meeting her eyes. 

“But you still talked to him! I’m proud of you.” Annette was genuine this time and it made Ashe’s face warm up. 

“Well it was different yesterday, he needed someone and I knew how to help.” Ashe said, pushing his food around his plate with his fork. 

“You should chat with him more, get to know him. Promise me you’ll try.” said Annette

Ever since she found out about his little tiny crush on the cute boy from the golden deer house who lived next to him she had insisted on being his cheerleader. With her and Mercedes being so close he was sure she was just happy to help out someone like her but it still made him warm to see her trying so hard for his sake. 

“Okay I promise.”


End file.
